Question 13 – Am I too bad for God?
Forgive my interjection, which is not truly a question. It is more a statement of feelings that trouble many people. I perceive it as appropriate to address this and answer whether a person can be so corrupted and depraved that God would have to disdain them and deny the possibility of forgiveness. There are two common extremes to which people often gravitate. Some consider themselves "good" and never even consider that they need forgiveness. The other category of people moves to the opposite extreme and feels unworthy of God's forgiveness for various reasons. They deem themselves too evil.
I want to dedicate this question to those of you, dear readers, who struggle with the consuming feeling that you are the ones who cannot be forgiven!
1) Unfounded Feeling of Guilt
Often, victims of psychological, physical, and sexual abuse fall into this category. For instance, if from childhood a person is led to believe they are worthless, that their mother should have aborted them, that they are a nobody, and should rather hang themselves, what then will this person think? How will they perceive their own worth? So many people today are bullied, sexually abused, and humiliated in this way! The sad consequence is that these victims often feel guilt that is not based on fact. Sometimes, they even believe they deserved the harm done to them, accepting a severely distorted view of reality that is not true! They experience so much pain and hurt that even the thought of being loved by someone is unimaginable and distant. And if He loves them, where was He when all this was happening to them? And why did He allow it? (addressed in another question). Dear reader, if you belong to this group of people, I want to tell you something important!
You Are Valuable! God Loves You! He Can and Wants to Heal All Your Wounds...
Yes, you need forgiveness! Every human being is sinful by nature (corrupted—selfish, proud, conceited, rebellious against God, etc.). But I believe that you do not need to be forgiven for many of the things you blame yourself for. Perhaps many events in your life occurred due to injustice, they were evil, but you were not at fault for them! The blame primarily lies with those who treated you in such a manner. In many respects, you are an innocent victim—not the culprit!
2) Legitimate Feelings of Guilt
Many of God's servants report from the field about how people abandon any hope that someone could accept and love them. Whether it is drug addicts who have destroyed their health and relationships and have an expansive criminal record, or criminals of all kinds behind prison bars, some might say—they got what they deserved! Yet, the reality is that many ordinary people bear such a consuming sense of guilt, more than we might be willing to admit.
How many are haunted by the shadows of the past, having just a "small" slip-up (infidelity), a secret illegitimate child, having wronged someone bitterly, failed to raise their children well, made a bad decision with catastrophic consequences, etc.? Or maybe they once served God, then left Him and now have no hope. We might be very surprised, were we able to peer into each of our hearts, to strip away the masks we wear daily in public and see our torments, regrets, pain, depression, and despair.
What Does God Say? What Is His Reaction?
Does He forgive only those who are not good enough, yet not too evil?
"Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause. "Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;" (Isaiah 1:17-19)
In this part of the Bible, God laments the state of Israel, which greatly turned away from Him. They committed many atrocious acts. Still, God calls them to turn back, to repent of their sins, and to cling to Him. He is willing to forgive everything if we sincerely and wholeheartedly repent of evil deeds. He loves us regardless of what we have done in our lives. We must realize that God seriously meant His offer of forgiveness; He confirmed it with His own death! How immense is the cleansing power of the blood of Jesus! About Him, it is written:
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)
I wish to add a very important divine principle here: God hates sin but loves the sinner. God hates murder but loves those who murder. God hates theft but loves those who steal. God hates infidelity but loves those who are unfaithful. God...
Lest I be misunderstood - I do not wish in any way to minimize the gravity of many wicked things people do. God Himself condemns, forbids, and abhors them. However, He separates the wrongdoing from the wrongdoer. Have you murdered? You have violated God's command that supports life and love:"You shall not kill." You will most likely bear the consequences of your actions. However, even for you, there is hope. If you humbly bow before God, confess your guilt, and accept His forgiveness, you will receive grace.
I would like to present another (though imperfect) illustration emphasizing the importance of humility here: A ruler came to the prison and took an interest in the fate of the prisoners. He wanted to determine who might be worthy of his amnesty—a grace that would lead to a pardon. All declared, and some shouted, that they were innocent—only one bowed his head and declared he was truly guilty. Seeing this, the ruler told the guards, "Release him... he alone recognizes his guilt."
Unfair?
Many struggle with the idea that a swindler, thief, or—God forbid—a murderer could find their way to God (or heaven). However, Jesus says even to these people—believe in me, truly repent of your sins, turn away from your ways, and I will give you eternal life. Consequently, many who committed terrible deeds during their lives reside with God. They are there not because of what they did wrong but because they came to their senses and were honest about what they had done, then sincerely repented, and accepted God's forgiveness and grace. Conversely, many who never killed anyone are absent—they are separated from God. To some, this fact may seem unacceptable and scandalous. If God is the absolute measure of justice, then something is wrong in our perception of justice. Today, we live by standards we ourselves have accepted. People know that killing a person, let alone a child, is wrong. But abortion? As a society, we approve. How is that murder? Lying to keep a job? No transgression, someone has to feed the family! Stealing? As they say, those who don't steal cheat their family... Homosexuality? They love each other—why not allow them? Let's not be intolerant. Cheating on a spouse? Affairs reportedly benefit relationships, some sexologists say, don't they?
Do you understand? These are our standards—not God's own. God has entirely different standards of what is right. Even a lustful look upon another is, according to Jesus, a sin and a pollution of one's mind. Just feeling anger toward another is equivalent in God's eyes to murder. Simply opposing God... in short, you don't need to kill or commit genocide—yet you are still in a position where you need God's forgiveness to establish a personal relationship with Him and to spend eternity with Him. Even the best of us, by human standards "kind," need God's forgiveness because we are not perfect and do many wrong things. And if this "kind" person refuses to acknowledge any fault before God and defies Him, they will fare worse than a murderer who acknowledges their guilt, sincerely repents, turns to God, and accepts His forgiveness.
There are many instances where murderers and assailants turn to God. When we listen to their stories, we realize how much they suffer from what they have done. They realize this much more than when they did not know God and sat behind bars. It is only after their conversion that they often truly understand the consequences of their deeds. Though they have received forgiveness (for which they are all the more grateful), they carry the burden for the rest of their lives. I include this only to illustrate that even such individuals are not exempt from the consequences of their actions.
Conclusion
Many people suffer from severe feelings of guilt due to past actions. Yet, there is good news—if our conscience still "pricks us," we have hope. Conscience itself is given to us by God, our Creator, to indicate that something is wrong and that we need forgiveness. This forgiveness is generously offered to us by the Lord of the universe. However, beware of a particular kind of pride that manifests in self-righteousness, which refuses God's forgiveness saying, "others might have hope, but I simply do not." If you have a Bible at home or access to the internet, find and read Luke chapter 15 in the New Testament. The following applies to those who accept the sacrifice of God's Son:
"By canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross." (Colossians 2:14)
Summation
God is capable and willing to forgive essentially all sins that a human being can commit, except fora persistent defiance against Him. The correct question is whether we are willing to give up our sin and humble ourselves before Him. Do we desire His forgiveness?